Bliss

Bliss. What is it? Have you ever experienced it? If you have, how did it arrive? Did it come in the way you anticipated, or was it unexpected? Did it arrive in the anticipated manner, or did it sneak up on you? Imperceptibly. Silently. Until suddenly it was just there in all its joyous ecstasy, taking you by surprise, overwhelming you with the beauty of the emotion.

Sometimes life is surprising. Sometimes bliss just ebbs in like the tide rather that rushing in like a tsunami. No matter, it’s completely recognizable, no matter which entrance it chooses.

We have this mindset that tells us we must attain thus and such in order to be happy. We believe that if we look a certain way we will be happier. We are convinced that having certain things or doing certain things will bring us joy, happiness, contentment, bliss.

Okay, so there are some human experiences that do bring bliss…but the variables in those experiences are so critical. There must be the right partner, circumstances, build up, ugh. It’s a miracle people ever experience relational bliss. Yet, they do. I hear about it, occasionally. Either that, or people lie. I prefer to think positively.

But who would ever think that after financial ruin, relational failure, and personal loss one could experience bliss? I know nothing is forever, not even the bad stuff, but when you’re in the thick of the bad stuff, shit gets real and bliss is the last descriptor you choose to put in your Facebook status update. Trust me. I know this firsthand.

Bliss isn’t exactly scrimping to feed a family of five on less than $400 for the month.
Bliss isn’t exactly being alone on a Friday night. (Okay, wait, if you’re a single parent, that might just be the exact definition of bliss.)
Bliss isn’t giving up the dreams you had, because, well, that ship has sailed and you weren’t on it.
Bliss isn’t cleaning house, paying bills and putting kids through college…all alone.
Bliss isn’t a king-size bed in a twin-size life.
Bliss isn’t four kids and four cats…and just four kids and four cats…for.ev.er.
Bliss isn’t bills.
Bliss isn’t being the only one that everyone seems to depend upon. (I want someone to take care of me for a change.)
Bliss isn’t cleaning the cat litter because the kids forgot to.
Bliss isn’t coming home on a Friday night when all the kids have gone to their other home and there you are…alone.

Or is it?

Tonight was first night in almost a month where I had the place to myself. It’s that other weekend in the every other rotation of parenting time. My children are at their other homes. I’ve looked forward to this time all week long. My life is a cacophony of sound and motion from Sunday night to Thursday afternoon. I’m one who desires the solitude and silence. If not often, then regularly, at least. None of this is guaranteed when you’re a single parent.

Tonight was different. Tonight was perfect.

Tonight, I was content, and it was bliss.

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About Miz Insomniac

Usually, it's the kids who grow up and leave home, but Miz Insomniac switched it up. When her kids grew up she decided to make her dreams come true so she flew the nest. After making 12 trips across the pond and back to Europe, Eastern Europe, and the Middle East in 2014-15, Miz Insomniac now qualifies as a world traveler. She hasn't quite mastered the fine art of traveling light, but she knows how to manipulate travel plans to avoid missed flights and jet lag. A former hopeless romantic turned realist, she's stateside now reinventing her life in a new city, with new opportunities, and all the challenges that come with leaving a career, traveling abroad for a year, and then returning to a world that's nothing like she left it. Her overseas travel is by no means over, it's just not as frequent. She's different now, but remains a night owl. She writes when she should be sleeping...and while you probably are.

Posted on January 19, 2013, in Wrapping My Mind Around These Things...Or Trying To and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

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