The Down Side To Vacation
One could say the down side to vacation is that it has to end. That is definitely a downside, especially if the vacation was an enjoyable one. It could be an upside if you were miserable the entire time. Tonight, after a two week vacation, I find, I cannot sleep. That’s my downside. I cannot sleep and I don’t know why. Morning on my job comes early.
Vacation was wonderful. I was able to stay up late and sleep in late. I loved doing whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted without having to worry about schedules or meetings or how I will get dinner fixed and the kids to their after-school activities on time. I didn’t have to deal with the dread of heading off to work well before any of my progeny is even considering consciousness, and wondering, “Will they get to school on time?” But tomorrow, all of that changes.
Tomorrow…wait…today…I will get up (that is, if I even get to sleep) at 5:30 a.m. I will stumble down the stairs of my beautiful townhouse, and I will fumble my way around the kitchen as I pour my coffee and stir in the creamer. I will take exactly one sip, then I will head back upstairs where I will stumble to the shower, and fumble through the process of making myself presentable to the outside world. This is a chore I haven’t had to do for two weeks and two days. Mind you, I’m not one who, when on vacation, never gets dressed or rarely bathes. I shower and shave and dress daily on vacation. I just don’t do it at 5:30 in the morning. In a few short hours reality is going to hit me hard. I will stumble through this process of preparing myself for the day and it won’t be easy. I will then stumble downstairs, backpack (yes, I said backpack…I cycle to work sometimes and I carry the backpack around even when I’m not on two wheels) slung over my shoulder. I’ll drop that backpack on a chair in our dining area and I’ll go pack my lunch and breakfast (I eat at work usually while I’m checking email, reviewing my calendar, and waiting for that first office meeting to begin.) Just the thought of this painful ordeal has me stressing out.
The fact that vacation is over also has me wanting to suck the bliss and freedom out of every last minute remaining. I know that statement comes off as I hate my job, but nothing is further from the truth. I love my job. I keep trying to think how I could make more money and to do so means I’d have to change my job. I don’t want to do that. Here’s the rub: I love my free time, especially free time where I still get a paycheck, even more than I love my job.
So, tonight, I’m tossing and turning. I dread going back to work because of the hectic schedule that results, and yet I look forward to it because I do love what I do. My days at work pass quickly, almost effortlessly at times, except for those nights when I stay up late, stuck between dread and excitement. Like tonight.
I hope I get some sleep tonight.
I hope I don’t sleep through my alarm.
That would not be a good thing at all.