2012, I Came To Love You Late

Tonight, only a few moments after our celebratory cheers and noisemaking, my oldest daughter, as she drifted off to sleep belted out, “2012, We will never, ever, ever be getting back together.”

I chuckled. I continued on about my business of making sure my home was picked up and secure. I have guests crashing on couches and in extra beds throughout the house. There was a great deal of Martinelli’s flowing tonight, and for the first time in years, some fireworks after the Times Square ball dropped. It was wonderful evening, spent with the people who saw me through the most difficult parts of 2012. I couldn’t imagine celebrating without them.

I’ve waited for these moments most of the year. I hated what 2012 dished at me from the beginning. And yet, as I look back, 2012 is a year to remember, rather than a year to forget. It taught me the important lesson that circumstances do not determine our destiny, nor do they affect our quality of life. I learned so much this year. I endured so much this year. Why is it that suffering and personal growth tend to walk hand in hand?

The household is silent. The champagne flutes cleaned and put away. The family and all our beloved guests are snoozing contentedly. It’s time to say goodbye to this year. This year that I hated all the while, but which I have now come to love, for all the good it brought me. I do look forward to this New Year. I only hope it is as good, in terms of joy and gratitude, as 2012. I realize in the hoping, I could be asking for trouble. But, then, 2012 taught me to view trouble in a very different light.

I came to love you late
As time and destiny would have it
I discover, I am not allowed to linger here

I am not allowed to cherish your sweet kisses
Moments of blessing
Realization dawning like a spring morning after a long winter
Bright and clear and full of promise

No whispered words of gratitude for all the blessings bestowed
at the final hours of your vigil
No time to relish all your hidden graces
Your blessings in disguise

A New Year is born, and thrust into my waiting arms.
I must go tend to this new being.
I will step out boldly toward my calling, to nurture this New Year
and to thrive in the doing.
But I will miss you, 2012.
I came to love you far too late.

About Miz Insomniac

Usually, it's the kids who grow up and leave home, but Miz Insomniac switched it up. When her kids grew up she decided to make her dreams come true so she flew the nest. After making 12 trips across the pond and back to Europe, Eastern Europe, and the Middle East in 2014-15, Miz Insomniac now qualifies as a world traveler. She hasn't quite mastered the fine art of traveling light, but she knows how to manipulate travel plans to avoid missed flights and jet lag. A former hopeless romantic turned realist, she's stateside now reinventing her life in a new city, with new opportunities, and all the challenges that come with leaving a career, traveling abroad for a year, and then returning to a world that's nothing like she left it. Her overseas travel is by no means over, it's just not as frequent. She's different now, but remains a night owl. She writes when she should be sleeping...and while you probably are.

Posted on January 1, 2013, in Lessons Learned and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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