2012, I Came To Love You Late
Tonight, only a few moments after our celebratory cheers and noisemaking, my oldest daughter, as she drifted off to sleep belted out, “2012, We will never, ever, ever be getting back together.”
I chuckled. I continued on about my business of making sure my home was picked up and secure. I have guests crashing on couches and in extra beds throughout the house. There was a great deal of Martinelli’s flowing tonight, and for the first time in years, some fireworks after the Times Square ball dropped. It was wonderful evening, spent with the people who saw me through the most difficult parts of 2012. I couldn’t imagine celebrating without them.
I’ve waited for these moments most of the year. I hated what 2012 dished at me from the beginning. And yet, as I look back, 2012 is a year to remember, rather than a year to forget. It taught me the important lesson that circumstances do not determine our destiny, nor do they affect our quality of life. I learned so much this year. I endured so much this year. Why is it that suffering and personal growth tend to walk hand in hand?
The household is silent. The champagne flutes cleaned and put away. The family and all our beloved guests are snoozing contentedly. It’s time to say goodbye to this year. This year that I hated all the while, but which I have now come to love, for all the good it brought me. I do look forward to this New Year. I only hope it is as good, in terms of joy and gratitude, as 2012. I realize in the hoping, I could be asking for trouble. But, then, 2012 taught me to view trouble in a very different light.
I came to love you late
As time and destiny would have it
I discover, I am not allowed to linger here
I am not allowed to cherish your sweet kisses
Moments of blessing
Realization dawning like a spring morning after a long winter
Bright and clear and full of promise
No whispered words of gratitude for all the blessings bestowed
at the final hours of your vigil
No time to relish all your hidden graces
Your blessings in disguise
A New Year is born, and thrust into my waiting arms.
I must go tend to this new being.
I will step out boldly toward my calling, to nurture this New Year
and to thrive in the doing.
But I will miss you, 2012.
I came to love you far too late.