Dating and Democracy
I love the area I live in, for the most part. It really is beautiful country, the weather is mild most of the year, and there are plenty of opportunities to do things outdoors whether you like the river, lake, mountains or coast. We have it all. The problem is when it comes to dating, there’s a dearth of educated people. There’s an even greater lack of people who have beliefs similar to mine and this is never more obvious than when we begin the discussion of politics.
Okay, I don’t want to make this post about politics. I have one perspective: Get informed and get involved. The getting informed part, truly, objectively informed, is difficult. The getting involved, is just as important, but few people do it. Far too many people believe that their involvement and their vote doesn’t matter. What they don’t realize is that nothing motivates a politician more than the idea of being voted out of office. They also don’t realize that phone calls, putting up signs, canvassing neighborhoods, all add up to votes. It’s a numbers game. The numbers eventually translate into votes. My conviction is that no matter what one’s political standpoint is, the time is long past when any of us can afford to be armchair politicians or pundits. We’re at a pretty significant time in our nation’s history, and we must remain involved in our republic if we are to maintain our republic. The dialogue is healthy. It must happen. We must participate or we will eventually lose the privilege of participation. Of course, I’m not going to be a bit disappointed if I were to discover that you were affiliated with the same party I am. By the same token, I have many dear, close friends who are affiliated with other parties. I love these friends. The debates and discussions we have are always enriching and interesting. I could consider even dating someone with opposing viewpoints, as long as he was intelligent, informed and thoughtful about why he’s voting the way he is.
Anyway. Enough sermonizing and more than enough about my political perspectives, as undeveloped as they admittedly are. I started out talking about dating.
As you can imagine after all that, I’m fairly involved politically in my area. I’m helping out whenever I can on a local campaign. I’m clearly not in a position to donate any money, but I sure can spend an afternoon at a phone bank or driving around placing lawn signs for those who requested them. The problem is, my particular party affiliation tends to be the minority where I live.
I recently learned this can be a problem when dating.
Okay, to be honest, it has never been a problem before. It is now, because I recently switched party affiliations. And, it was only in this one particular instance.
I mentioned a few posts back how I was three sheets to the wind one night and put a dating profile, which I took down about two weeks later. I’m very interested in having a relationship that is viable, rewarding, respectful, loving, fun, all that good stuff. I’m just not so into the dating part. I really just don’t want to be bothered with it. But…during that two weeks, I was able to connect digitally with a few seemingly decent men. At least they represented themselves well in writing and they were gainfully employed and from all appearances had posted pictures indicating they still had all their teeth.
It is funny how people make assumptions.
This was never more clear to me than this recent text exchange I had with one of these men.
Him: What are you doing Sunday? (Okay, first of all, it was Friday when he was texting me, or maybe it was a Thursday night. It was late in the week to be making plans for the weekend. Also, it is a clear indicator a guy has no game when he starts off with the junior high approach of “What are you doing?”)
Me: I tutor on Sundays. (Even if I’d had nothing going on, I would have had something going on.)
Him: What about Saturday?
Me: I’m putting up lawn signs for a candidate I’m supporting.
Him: Oh? Which candidate? (Here it comes.)
Me: So and so for such and such local campaign.
Him: Oh, I thought you were going to say Obama. (Yep, I knew this was coming. Take a deep breath, then just go for it. This is going to be good!)
Me: (after a very long pause, very long, as I pondered every possible way to respond, I finally settled on…) Um…actually…I am voting for Obama.
Not the pause I expected, then:
Him: Maybe lunch isn’t such a good idea.
Me: Maybe not.
I kind of figured the conversation was over then I get this:
Him: I want mine and I want to spend more…so I’m not voting for him!
I mean, he wasn’t texting in all caps, but you could feel the emotion behind that text. I pondered how to respond. My first reaction (while I understand the misconception behind the words) was to say, “So, it’s all about you?”. I didn’t say it though. There was just so much I could say, wanted to say and I said none of it. I mean, it really did tempt the warrior princess in me…but I resisted. Instead, I decided to just not engage. I simply texted him back very nicely and sweetly.
Me: Yeah, lunch would be a really bad idea.
Posted on October 12, 2012, in Dating, Mama Politico and tagged armchair politicians, dating, dating after divorce, democracy, making assumptions, mama politico, men with no game, Miz Insomniac, mizinsomniac, Obama, online dating, political involvement, support your party, votes, voting, voting for Obama. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.